When you can't find the words...

What do you do, when you can't find the words? I've been asking myself that question a lot. It's a slightly less frustrating than the question I was asking myself before. How do I change while staying the same. It's probably not surprising to you that I'm still grappling with both questions.

Of course even if I don't have a definitive answer, I want to continue to create content. So I'm allowing myself to be a writing chameleon. Writing about whatever it is I feel like addressing that day.

Today let's talk about faith. It's not a topic that some people are comfortable discussing. A great deal of my writing would likely lead you to make a few assumptions about me. I'm guessing that the fact I have a strong faith would be at the bottom of that list, if it even made the list at all. I talk to my children every day about finding the magic in all things, but I also teach them about God. We read Bible stories and talk openly about Jesus.

I often struggle to walk with one foot in both worlds. I love to write about dark and scary things one minute, and the next I'm working on creating a devotional for myself or my children. I never considered these things a contradiction, until people started assuming things about me. I tried at first to change myself to fit the mold, but it only made me feel claustrophobic. I couldn't find the words anymore. I can't tell even the scariest of stories without God.

So, does this change your opinion of me? I certainly hope not. Lots of incredible fantasy writers were also Christian. J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis are two of my favorites To be honest, even just taking the time to share this with you helps me start to see the words, helps my mind feel less dark and confused.       

I'll soon be sharing a series on death in America, and excerpts from my novel. The may seem dark, but if you look closely you'll see the lighter sides of me. You'll see that my faith plays a part in all I do.

Remember to be yourself. Even if the puzzle pieces that make up your soul don't always seem to go together. Even Italian dressing separates, but if you shake it up, it makes something truly wonderful. 

New adventures in writing

Hello friends!

It's wonderful to be sharing the inner workings of my mind with you again. While I was away I had continued writing, but only for myself. I had to find a better way of sharing with you. Through the Covid-19 pandemic and personal struggles I was able to answer a question that has plagued me for quite some time. This question was who am I as a writer. I feel as though I stumbled into the marvelous land of poetry. I love being a poet, but I began to feel as though it wasn't allowing me to say all the things I desperately wanted to say. Will I still write poetry? Absolutely, but it's not the only thing that defines me as a writer.

I began to take a in-depth look at my life. I discovered that the things that I considered my biggest flaws, might actually be my strengths. If you know me personally, you know that I've spent my life as a professional dreamer. Moving from one thing to the next. All the while writing about every detail of that thing I claimed to love so much. My Husband still reminds me of the evening he came home from work to find me surrounded by Astronomy books, filling up one of my millions of spiral notebooks with ideas. I looked up at him and announced that I was going to "be an Astronaut!" 

Admittedly this story has always embarrassed me. I've come a long way, worked on my physical and mental health, and grown up in many ways. My ability to research a topic to death has served me well as I've worked side by side with medical professionals to unravel the medical mystery that is my 10 year old son. I've also grown tired of my brain's wild rollercoaster of new and improved things that I should be.

Over the weekend, sitting with my Husband I expressed all of this to him for probably the millionth time. Except I said something that would change my whole perspective. I declared "I'm done trying to be all of these things, I'm just going to write about them. Even if I have to write a thousand research papers!"

The words fell out of my mouth with such ease, it's as if the answer had been inside me all along. I won't go into my newest venture here, but you will be able to read all about it shortly. My excitement to explore new things doesn't have to stop, and it never will. I hope to bring you interesting information and my own unique perspective.

For those who have been on this rollercoaster with me I share a heartfelt thank you. Especially to my Husband and Mom who often remind me to sit down and write. If I ever write anything you enjoy reading, remember one of them encouraged me to put pen to paper.

I look forward to writing about a variety of topics and I hope you will enjoy reading what I share.

Have a magical day!

Kates 

 

Writing doesn't have to make sense

If you saw the title of this blog post, likely you're a bit confused. What on earth do I mean when I say that writing doesn't have to make sense? Obviously I'm not talking about writing that you submit to a magazine or a publisher. I'm talking about writing that soothes your soul. Any writer will tell you that the urge to sit down and write is ever-present. I even carry a small notebook and pen with me everywhere I go. You never know when inspiration will strike. I've been known to pull my car over to the side of the road to jot something down, just ask my kids. The message I want to share with you is that the first time you write something, it doesn't have to make sense to anyone but you. That's what editing is for.

I have countless poems that have one or two sentences, and they would look ridiculous to anyone else. Yet I know that over time as I work on them, I can craft some thing beautiful. I avoided writing as a teenager because I hated everything that I wrote. In my early twenties I still hated everything I wrote, but I couldn't fight my urge to write. So I filled tons of notebooks full of nonsense. Most of that early writing ended up in the recycle bin, stashed under my bed, or anywhere else I could squirrel it away. It may not have made me a published author, but it did make me a better writer. Of course it wasn't until I started writing every day that I started to love my writing. I'm still critical of it, but I'm grateful to be able to sit down and write.

If you dream of writing, but you worry that everything you write is nonsense. It's okay, just keep writing. Eventually your words will come together, to tell the story you want to tell.


Have a magical day!

Kates

Finding my place

It has always fascinated me when people are so sure about what they want to do with their lives. People who have dreamed since childhood to be doctors or lawyers, only to grow up and achieve that goal.

I live in a state of constantly evolving interests. Sure I had childhood aspirations, but even as a young person I couldn't quite commit to any certain "dream job." I suppose that's why I write. I can put pen to paper and ramble on about anything. I can create characters that are doctors, lawyers, or even dark fairy queens. My ever changing voice is what makes me writing unique.

Because I don't think in a traditional way, I convinced myself from an early age that I was unworthy. I found myself always on the wrong side of things, and I struggled socially and academically. When you believe that no matter how hard you try that you're guaranteed to fail. It becomes difficult to even want to try. The endless worry leads to burnout, and you are left feeling even more worthless.

It wasn't until I found myself in a place where life had kicked me down more times than I could count. That I let go of fear, and made the choice to be unapologetically me.

I'm a writer. I always have been, even when I thought I couldn't be.


Have a magical day!

Kates

Poetry inspiration for September

Hello lovelies!

Often when people hear I'm a writer, they tell me that they wish they could write more. They express not knowing what to write about. That's why I love creating prompts. It's a great way to start the practice of writing every day. Pick one that inspires you, or challenge yourself to write for each prompt.

Here's some inspiration for the month of September.


Happy writing friends!

Hi I'm Kates! Welcome to my creepy and magical corner of the internet. I started writing daily when my oldest son was hospitalized in September 2018. Writing became my happy place.

 I have two rambunctious and loving little boys. My oldest son has Autism, OCD, and Mast Cell Activation syndrome. He loves chess, Legos, and video games. My youngest son is one of the most unique people I've had the pleasure of sharing space with. He loves super heroes, nature, and painting. We lovingly call him Wolfman. I'm happily married to my favorite human over the age of nine.


 I created Spellbound Poetry and Books to share my love of horror and fantasy writing. I enjoy creating prompts and sharing poetry created by poets on Instagram. I also love reading, and sharing my thoughts with you about the books I'm reading. I'm still stumbling through The Shining, and I hope to host lots of horror and fantasy read-alongs.

 I'm working on, and hope to release my first chapbook soon. I've completed a collection of short stories that I'm currently editing, and I'm in the process of writing a novel.


 I have the privilege of being a co-editor of @graveyard_shift_poetry on Instagram with my friend @bettie_schade. Graveyard is a wonderful page that welcomes all writers to explore the darker side of themselves. We also have a lot of fun.


 Thanks again for being here, and I look forward to sharing lots of writing, and other fun stuff with you. Tell me a little bit about yourself in the comments. What's your favorite scary book? What's your favorite fairy tale? If you're a writer, what's your favorite genre to write? Have a magical day!

🖤 Kates